Things to Tell You, Dear Readers:
For Single Men:
If you like her, ask her out. If you think you might like her, ask her out. No, really. Consider this your sign. ASK HER OUT. You don’t have to plan some extravagant first date; a chat over a cup of coffee will suffice. And if she says no? So what? And if things get awkward thereafter? So what? Get back on that Seabiscuit and try again.
For Single Women:
If you’re wishing that your Prince Charming would hurry up and ask you out, make sure you’re doing your part of making him feel encouraged. I know a fair amount of women have the tendency to clam up and get awkward whenever the guy that they like is in the room, but push through it and engage him in conversation. He might be nervous too, so try to put him at ease, and you’ll both feel better. And if he’s not giving you the time of day? Move on, sister. There are other fish/frogs/various sea creatures out there.
For Couples:
First of all, props to you for finding/pursuing/wooing someone who makes your heart sing <3 It can be difficult to maintain a healthy romantic relationship when you’re living in the dorms because you’re surrounded by people who might not value relationships in the same way that you do, and you’re going against the hook-up culture. Also, dorm living can be really lousy for a romantic relationship because you might find it hard to be “lovebirdy” when your common area is frequented with roommates who gag at the mere thought of PDA. Remedy this by spending time together outside of the dorm – a date off-campus perhaps? – and by getting encouragement from friends who are in similar committed relationships. Your relationship (and your roommates) will thank you.
Ten Tips:
10.) In order to get less freaked out about the idea of going on dates, just think of it as a chance to get to know someone through conversation. The more you go on, the easier they will be.
9.) Play matchmaker. Set your friends up on a date or turn it into a group date to ease the pressure on the two people you’ve set up.
8.) Cut back on the gossip. It puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on an early relationship to have everyone talking about who’s with whom.
7.) We can hear you when you talk in the hallway! And outside our window!
6.) Don’t be too picky. Keep an open-mind about people with first date potential. It’s not fair to write someone off before you’ve even given him or her the opportunity to engage in conversation with you. Unless, of course, he or she poses a threat to your safety. Then you can say, “No, thank you.”
5.) You can’t force someone to like you. You can turn on the charming and the killer personality, but if your crush isn’t taking the bait, then either suggest a date or move on.
4.) Don’t get discouraged if you’re all dressed up with nowhere to go. Keep mingling, keep smiling, and get out and do something. Join some clubs, go to the Plex, go to a concert, and TALK to people. You’re not going to find a lovah if you stay in your dorm room all of the time. 3.) Be wary of overusing Facebook, texting, and instant messaging during the early stages of a relationship. You shouldn’t know all of the interests, activities, and favorite quotations of the person that you’re about to go on a first date with…what are you going to talk about? And texting and IM-ing can be misinterpreted really easily, so try to stick with the face-to-face interactions.
2.) Colleges can be toxic environments for healthy relationships to flourish, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t happen. Just because your roommates are hooking-up or have sworn off dating doesn’t mean that you have to follow suit.
1.) You’re lovely (and ridiculously good-looking). You have the potential to be a great friend, kind son or daughter, respectful peer, and loving boyfriend or girlfriend. Be around people who encourage you to be the best version of yourself, and stay honest.
Signing off,
Jacq
