“Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it’” Matthew 16:24—25.

At first glance, this statement is hard to understand. How can one lose what he or she seeks to save, and save it only by losing it? However, further reflection reveals the depth and undeniable truth contained in the words of our Lord.

A year ago, Father Michael Himes of the Theology Department here gave his “Last Lecture” in Yawkey as part of an ongoing series. This series was inspired by Randy Pausch, who was a professor at Carnegie Mellon University. Having been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Randy sought to convey all the points about life he would want his children to know before he died.

Father Himes’ lecture focused on the verse at the beginning of this article. He told how for years he “preached and prayed” over this verse, but for awhile, misunderstood it. He said he used to think of it as a commandment, wherein Jesus was giving us the metric to which we had to live up. But he later realized, that this was not the case.

Father Himes said, concerning this Bible verse, “It’s a description. Jesus is not saying, ‘That’s how you ought to live.’ He’s saying ‘That’s how things are. You want to know what existence is like? It’s like this.’ He’s saying, ‘If you hold on to it, you won’t have it. But if you give it away, you can’t run out of it. You will see it become everlasting.’ Because being and giving oneself turn out to be exactly the same thing.”

This description is, actually, quite profound and its application ubiquitous. Do a little experiment for yourself. Imagine all of a sudden that you were the only person on Earth. Everyone vanished. For some, for awhile, perhaps, this would be a welcome change—a little peace and quiet. Soon, however, it is clear—there would be a longing for another. A life not shared is a life not lived.

Think of any job, profession, or vocation—firefighter, pilot, teacher, custodian, mother, father, brother. There’s no job where you are paid to do something that stays and remains with you. The function of each role in life is to be other-directed.

Music really drives home this point for me. I often practice in Lyons, in the practice studios on the fourth floor, which are pretty small. Now, I’m not knocking the wonderful piano studios, but, if someone were to tell me that the only place I could play piano for the rest of my life was in a studio alone, I can’t guarantee I would play much more.

However, I know there are times where I’ve played around campus for people or passersby and I lose all track of time. I look at my watch, and suddenly it’s five hours after I started, when I only intended to play for ten minutes. In that way, music has given me a glimpse of the truth behind Jesus’ words, explained by Father Himes, “‘If you give [your life] away, you can’t run out of it.”

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